Loneliness. Hell or paradise?
Everything has gone and you are alone. Everything is not clear. Different thoughts come and fade away. What does it mean? What happened? What you should do? These questions are very familiar to those who have already gone through divorce. It is extremely difficult to assess this situation. This is a totally new experience. You haven't got any patterns of behaviour for this state. On the one hand everything is good. You have done what you wanted to do. The goal is reached. You are free; you start your life from the very beginning. New opportunities open before you. You still have people to rely on. Alone doesn't mean lonely. Maybe this event is worth celebrating? Indeed, life is changing for the better. But something is wrong. You don't feel happy to celebrate anything. You can visit your friends and relatives, where you can hear encouraging words. Yes, thus you can really divert your attention from your sad thoughts. But when you return home again, your sad thoughts wait for you there. They are now your closest life companions, they have replaced your wife or husband and are haunting you everywhere.
Once you came home, to your family hearth and had rest. Everything seemed so good and unshadowed. You made plans for the future, your plans for your common future, and now everything has gone. Sometimes you think that you still love him or her. Maybe you should return everything back?
No, it is impossible and useless. You can't return the past. In fact when you remember your previous life with admiration, it doesn't mean that you still love him or her, you simply love your reminiscences. Indeed, if you really loved him or her, you wouldn't divorce.
Another case is when your divorce is a response to adultery, alcoholism or other flaws. In this situation you may still really love your former spouse but is it worth to resurrect what is already dead?
Now you must relax, try not to think and begin to build your new life.
Visit old friends, find new ones, take a vacation and spend it somewhere, where you can distract from your blues.
If you live in a flat where you lived together, move furniture, get rid of things that can remind you of the past. Come to the mirror, smile, and transfer your unrealized love to yourself. Wait until you will have an opportunity to turn over a new leaf.