The sense of guilt and divorce
Women and men experience different feelings during the process of divorce. These feelings are usually determined by social stereotypes. A woman is regarded in most cases as a victim, and a man as a villain, who has left his family. It is considered that after the divorce a woman usually gets problems and a man gets freedom.
But what does this freedom mean? Women don't suspect that men can experience the same psychological hardships during this process and sometimes it is even more difficult for them. The majority of men consider divorce to be their own guilt. The reasons for that have historical and social background. A man was always responsible for his wife and children. Men stood always above women on the social scale, but they returned responsibilities for their privilege: they had to feed the family, protect it, make decisions so that their families could be secured in all respects.
In modern society women have conquered many of men's privileges, but the widespread view that men must be responsible for the family retained.
Thus men have got accustomed to live in constant stress and responsibility for themselves and for others. And they have permanent fear of not being able to cope with their tasks, lose respect of their wives and society and eventually go through divorce. When quarrels and shoot-out begin, men begin to experience the sense of guilt, and divorce becomes for them an evidence of their own inferiority.
Of course, self-confidence, the ability to escape from troubles and the sense of rivalry help men to go through divorce.
Women themselves provoke unpleasant emotions in their husbands. They think that an ideal husband is a breadwinner, an excellent lover, attentive to the wife and children and always gentle and caring simultaneously. It is clear that the combination of all these qualities in one person is impossible. The same refers to women: they can't be ideal wives who work, do all the housework and look after children, and be gentle at the same time.
When a woman understands that her husband does not meet her requirements, she begins to nag at him. The more a woman does it, the more a man feels a sense of guilt. The feeling of guilt makes man's life unbearable and prevents from going through divorce easily.
Despite the widespread women's view of men's insolvency in the role of husbands, many men want to have a family, value marital relationships high, and don't want to lose their families and are cut up by divorce.
It often happens that marriage has proved unsuccessful, but a man continues to live with his wife till she offers to divorce herself. He feels his guilt in the fact that conjugal relationship has come to such a sad result.
The sense of guilt in its extreme level can become a serious obstacle to new relations. A man won't marry again because he doesn't want to experience the same emotions again and go through a divorce.
Men are not always guilty alone. If a marriage has proved unsuccessful, the fault extends to both spouses. In case the break-up is inevitable, it is better to resolve once and for all immediately, go through divorce in order not to spoil life.